Wonder Woman

Over the years, Michael, and a few others, have referred to me as Wonder Woman.  To the outside, it may have looked like I was doing many different things with great strength.  It never seemed like it was anything over the top to me, because it all took place within my four walls.  I have always home schooled our children, which keeps me from too much involvement in other activities during the day.  People would say, "How do you do it?"  The answer has always been, "I don't know any other way."  This is what I have always done.  This is our life, how we have chosen to live it, it suits us, and we love it. Since I love to cook, garden, and entertain, these "hobbies" were easily part of my daily routine.... not a chore or something for which I necessarily had to strive.  They were just part of the our daily rhythm. Projects around the house also fell into that category.  Completing various projects around the house was always energizing to me. Michael would sometimes come home from work to find furniture moved, a wall painted, five loaves of bread cooling on the counter, and soup simmering on the cook top.

I coached cheerleaders, choreographed routines and taught hip hop dance classes for 20 years, but I always worked it around the schedule of my children.  Some years, I taught privately out of my house while the children were taking naps or playing upstairs.  I could have dinner cooking while I was coaching, take an hour break from coaching to eat dinner with my family, then Michael would take care of baths, stories, and bedtime while I coached a couple more hours.  He proudly supported me in this all of those years.

I could make firm decisions, stand boldly for a cause, have faith that could move mountains, and never waiver in what was the right thing to do.  I understand, now, that I was Wonder Woman because he was my Superman.  He believed in me, fought for me, supported me, trusted me, and loved me with his whole being.  His belief in me gave me the confidence to do all that I wanted and needed to do on a daily basis.  I remember one night at dinner, when the children were several years younger, I had said to him with disappointment, "I just did not get anything done today." He told me that I had been saying that too often.  I will never forget what he said.  He put his fork down, looked at me squarely, with eyes intently focused on mine, and said, "Babe, you have home schooled our three children, cooked three meals, and met their other needs, as well as mine.  If you never get anything done other than that, you have done plenty." His belief in the life we had chosen to live,  and in my ability to carry out my part , strengthened me.  Now, hear me on this,  I understand that the Lord is my strength and my shield, but we are humans and are made to be loved and accepted.  Just like children are stronger and more confidant and secure in their actions when they have a loving, supportive, and stable home, husbands and wives operate on those same needs.

The strength and confidence that I had while he was in my life is tottering all over the place.  I am doubting most of my daily decisions and have had a hard time committing to or making a plan.  He depended on my strength.  He was strong out in the world during the day while doing his work, and needed the security that came from my strength when he walked in the door at night.  The song by Lee Greenwood, which was so popular in the late eighties comes to mind..."Wind Beneath My Wings".  Part of the lyrics say, "I can fly higher than an eagle, with you as the wind beneath my wings."  Michael and I loved to watch each other soar. It was a gift to be the wind beneath each other's wings.  Our love and belief in one another gave us super powers.  I am not spiraling down in flight, but I am definitely flying low, without such a strong force of wind blowing me back up to greater heights.