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Giving Thanks in all Circumstances

Sunday, March 13, 2011
Following the days of Michael's death (it is still so surreal to write those words), a friend of mine would bring to me an index card with a scripture on it for the day.  They were always perfect and would meet the present need.  One morning, while sitting up in bed, I was crying with just general thoughts of missing Michael, feeling lonely, left behind, a little confused, sad, and heart broken. I turned to my night stand to glance at my little stack of note cards.  The one I picked was from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances ; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  I stopped immediately when I got to ,"give thanks in all circumstances".  I just broke down and sobbed with an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that, under my present circumstances,  could have only come from heaven.

Through my crying, broken voice, I looked up to heaven, and with spoken words, began to be thankful for Michael's life.

Thank you, God, for having brought Michael to me.  Out of all the women in the world, You chose me. Thank you for giving me that privilege. Thank you for choosing me to be his wife here on this earth.  Thank you for the life we had together. Thank you for the way he provided for our family.  Thank you for the hard worker that he was.  Thank you for his discipline. Thank you for his steadfast love. Thank you for his faithfulness. Thank you for his sweet spirit.  Thank you for the children you gave me.  Thank you for the father that he was to our children. Thank you for his wisdom. Thank you for his guidance for our family. Thank you for his influence.  Thank you for his integrity.  Thank you for his voice...

I felt so lifted and exhausted after pouring out my spirit of thankfulness. I felt so connected to God and Michael's spirit at the same time.  I could breathe again. Ever since then, while taking a shower, I am often overcome with tears and a wave of thankfulness.  I cannot explain it... in the flesh, who would be thankful right now?... but glory to God that He has given me the blessing of being thankful.  When the thankfulness strikes, I feel refreshed with a little more strength to carry on.

A secular song by Taylor Swift, called "Enchanting", keeps running through my head as I think back on my life with Michael Barranco.  All of the lyrics are not appropriate to our situation, but the main idea is where my heart is, as I am being thankful for him having been in my life.
All I can say, is it was enchanting to meet you.
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?", across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me.
The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy. 
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you....


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