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Walking the dog

Friday, March 11, 2011
Sleep deprivation is starting to be a problem.  My appetite is not like it used to be.  I feel starving at times, but there is no satisfaction after I eat.  I am eating three meals a day, but not as much and sometimes I need to be reminded to eat.  My heart beats a little faster than it should throughout the day and I don't seem to be drinking as much water as I usually do.  I am a big water drinker, so I am probably just hovering around what most people drink on a regular basis.... but I am feeling somewhat dehydrated.  I will try to do better today with the water, since it is the only thing over which I have real control.  My son wanted to sleep in my bed last night, which was good with me. We had some good alone time chats before he drifted quickly off to a deep sleep.

He has dog duty this morning and is out right now walking our male, soft coated wheaten terrier.  We have a female, too, but she does not enjoy to go on walks. My husband always had done the early morning walks. At first he would complain a little, by saying the children should be more responsible by getting up and taking care of it. When we started to set things up for the children to do it, he admitted that he loved doing it and did not want to turn it over to them.  It had become the culmination to his morning time with God... kind of like icing on a cake.  Everything he did in his morning routine gave him quiet, mind time with God to pray and listen.  Drinking coffee in the dark, followed by praying in the dark, then a dim light to read his Bible, next came the drive to the club, thought time while on the treadmill or elliptical, the drive home from the club, and finally, the second cup of coffee while walking Brady in our neighborhood. He told me that he got in his best prayer time while out walking the dog.  He allowed himself to pray from his soul while enjoying nature. When I would walk the dog at times later in the day, I seemed to always focus on training him instead of just enjoying the walk. Most of the time, Michael would let Brady meander all over at the end of his leash, allowing him to take in all of the wonderful scents he could find.  This allowed Michael's mind to drift where God wanted it to go. He would also have periods of just happily walking side by side together.  All of the morning walkers, runners, and other dog people knew his face and his good mornings with a smile.  I had a neighbor tell me that she always knew she was on time for carpool when she saw Michael pass her driveway with Brady.  If he was ever out of town on business or camping trips, I dreaded knowing that some of us had to get up earlier than usual so that we could "do the dogs".

Along with all kinds of bird calls, (He could call in an owl from over 300 yards until it was perched in a tree right next to us.), Michael could "talk" to our dogs and get them to "talk" back.  He would tilt his head back, jut his chin out just a little, and start this series of howling.  They would sit at his feet looking up at him like he was the best thing in the world and happily carry on conversations together.  He would then get tickled at them, or tickled at me getting frustrated, because it always seemed he had those talks with the dogs while I was in the middle of a phone conversation or trying to listen to messages on the voicemail. By choice, he would take both of them to and from the vet, as well as make all grooming appointments. When December hit each year, he would make an appointment for their "Christmas cut', as he called it, so that they would look nice for all of our entertaining.  He was disciplined in all that he did. Responsibilities were taken seriously,but never with resentment.

I think it would be good for me if I could take up that morning walk.... someday.


jaxonpolo2 Says:
March 11, 2011 at 7:57 AM

Jene, your words concern me this morning. I know how eating can be difficult at this time, but I want you to concentrate on nourishment. Your days, I know, right now are so filled with grief that it's hard to make the food pass that lump in your throat and the heaviness on your chest. I feel your pain, but worry so about your physical health too. I will say a special prayer for you that your appetite will return. You have a very important role right now and your health is most important. Love and prayers:) Pam

Boo Culp Says:
March 12, 2011 at 5:08 AM

Dearest Jene,

I was reading this passage this morning and I was already in prayer for you and your family... by the time I finished, I was once again reduced to tears...

Can you imagine the feeling you would have felt if you had gathered with a few close believers to hear this man they called Jesus, and hear him share this truth...

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom." Matthew 5

I love you and your sweet family, and I miss Michael too...


Anonymous Says:
March 12, 2011 at 5:12 AM

Hey Jene--
Just a thought on the food part-- I had a close friend survive a "valley time" in her life by taking Juice Plus+. It is whole food in a capsule. (No additives or supplements) I've had tremendous results for the last 2 yrs. with it. Just a thought....

K. Ferguson
JLBethea's sis

Crystal Says:
March 12, 2011 at 7:15 AM

Early this morning, I woke up and was thinking about your blog post yesterday. I can't imagine what you are going through. Thank you for telling us your needs on your blog. I wanted to tell you that when I don't feel like chewing, juice is good. Can I bring you a basket of fruit and my juicer if you don't have one? It can help nourish you and not require a lot of effort to consume so your body also can rest.

Thomas Eastland Says:
March 14, 2011 at 1:06 PM

It's funny you write about how Michael could call a hoot owl. That weekend before the wreck, Michael and I were sitting around the campfire with the other adult scout leaders and we heard owls "hooting". Of course we did our best to call them to us. The boys had to think we were nuts. I'm very thankful for that weekend and will carry that memory of it with me the rest of my life.


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