Married, Single, Divorced, Widowed

I was not able to write this morning because I was traveling. Once I arrived home,  I was a little numb, and most of the afternoon was consumed with reading mail, cards, unpacking, and doing some necessary paperwork.  I was about to fall into bed, but decided that I could relax a little better if I shared just a thought that was on my mind.  Last night, I filled out an online application for my son to be able to attend a summer camp this coming July.  There were seven pages with many questions to answer.  I came to a box which had marital status options... Married, Single, Divorced, or Widowed.  I halted and my fingers froze on the keys, refusing to click an answer.  I had to contemplate it for about 60 seconds.  I am not married, not officially any more, but my heart is still married to Michael.  I am not single.  Single makes me think that there is not "another half", and I still feel like I am missing my "other half."  I am not divorced, nor have I chosen to be a single parent.  I am widowed.  I was married and have lost the one I love.  I am a bearer of grief.  I obviously knew the answer, but had to admit the answer to myself.  I am a widow.  I took a deep breath, raised my finger, and hit the key on the appropriate box.  A simple truth, and yet, a harsh, painful reality.